


The Count

by Vita_S_West



Category: Endeavour (TV), Inspector Morse & Related Fandoms
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Established Relationship, F/M, Roleplay, post-series 6, spicing up the bedroom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-27 16:21:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30125532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vita_S_West/pseuds/Vita_S_West
Summary: Win wants to add a little more excitement to the bedroom and Fred endeavours to figure out a surprise, something special—like the old days.
Relationships: Fred Thursday/Win Thursday
Comments: 5
Kudos: 6





	The Count

**Author's Note:**

> enjoy :)

Win issued one too many sighs over breakfast. It was the weekend so she and Fred were lingering over the table. There were no real expectations for the day, other than some shopping and some cleaning and that would be according to their own schedule. Fred would normally have let Win bring up whatever was weighing on her mind in her own good time, but since their falling out, he’d been making more of an effort to be more attentive. To be more communicative.

“What’s the matter, Win?” he said, attempting to at least sound cheerful.

“Hm?”

“You’ve been sighing so much I expect you’ve cooled your tea.”

“Oh,” she said.

Fred thought he’d have to wait a bit longer, in suspense, but Win just came out with it. No beating around the bush and he supposed he _should_ be grateful for that.

“Well, the kids are both gone and it’s just the two of us now. It’s only that I feel we ought to be having more fun.” She looked at him intently, measuring him to see if he’d caught her meaning. He hadn’t. She continued, “In the bedroom.”

“ _Ah._ ” His brow furrowed. They’d hardly been celibate. If anything after making up after their fight, they’d been more intimate than usual. “Well, what do you mean? Why, just last week, we were—”

“I want more than once or twice a week, Fred Thursday! And it’s more than that! It’s not just the quantity. It’s the _quality_ ,” she explained with a smile as she reached out across the table, taking his hand. “I just want a bit of magic. You know, like when we were young. When everything was new.”

“Right,” Fred said, thinking back to bombs and war and no time to slow down because he could be dead next week and miss everything that mattered.

That wasn’t what she meant, though, and he knew it. She squeezed his hand and gave him a soft smile. She wasn’t thinking of _that_ part of it. She was thinking of the rush of being in love, the feeling that they were the only two people in the world that mattered, the sense of being the centre of each other's worlds. It was the sense that no one had ever felt as in love as they did in those days, when the sun seemed to rise and set on the crinkling eyes of the other. 

“Right,” he said again. “It’s romance you want. Flowers and—”

Her face fell. “Well, flowers _would_ be nice, but I was thinking… well what if we take a holiday! We could go away up north of a long weekend.”

“Er.” Without the savings, things had been tighter. He didn’t need to explain this. Her shoulders were already deflating. “Now, none of that!” he said quickly, desperate to salvage this, to re-earn her smile. “It’s proper romance you want. And that comes with a surprise. Some buildup like.”

“Oh,” she agreed. A grin grew at some idea that Fred hadn’t even formulated yet. “The anticipation.”

“Yes, that’s the ticket. It’ll be a surprise. Something special. Like the old days. Magic-like.”

“Oh!” Win said again with a giggle, one so bright it shot a dual wave of adoration and panic through his stomach. Win continued to give him smiles and to chuckle to herself as she cleaned up after breakfast. Fred, however, played it cool. He fetched his hat, coat and pipe, repeating the words to himself, a mantra of his own foolishness, _a surprise, something special, like the old days_. _Magic-like._

What on earth was he going to do?

///

The words followed him around all week. _A surprise, something special, like the old days_. What was something unique, but inexpensive that he could do?

It tormented him whenever he wasn’t busy to the point that Strange asked him what was wrong. Fred was so clueless about what to do he almost asked Strange for _his_ opinion, before reminding himself that while he was decent bloke, he was something of a bachelor.

Come to think of it, he couldn’t think of many colleagues who would be able to provide informed advice. Morse was whip smart, but was as likely to be jilted by an almost-lover as have to arrest her for murder. Debryn never seemed the least bit interested in women. With the exception of Bright, they _all_ seemed to be perpetual bachelors. It wasn’t like he could ask Bright…

///

Jewellery seemed clichéd. A nice restaurant was possible, but they were trying to save money. Everything seemed to cost money or be overdone. Nothing seemed magical. He doubted she wanted him to do a bloody card trick. 

But overdone… Old-fashioned, maybe as long as it wasn’t completely clichéd that would be something. Something like the old days.

He thought of their old date ideas, before the kids and with the kids. Dancing at clubs, picnics in the park, trips to the public pool, long walks, the cinema.

What was sexy about that?

///

The idea struck him involuntarily while cleaning some old case files that Morse had left around. The Sikes case and the Beavis case. The Beavis case, at the old cinema… the cinema. He and Win had loved those old monster movies. _Nosferatu_ , _The Phantom of the Opera_ , _Cat People_ , _Invasion of the Body Snatchers_.

It would certainly be special. And unexpected. Magical?

Well, she’d probably like it and that had to count for something.

He just had to check their Halloween decorations first….

///

Win was already in bed, in her nightgown, reading her book by the bedside light. Fred paused just before the doorway, just out of her sight. He hadn’t looked in the mirror beforehand because he already knew what he’d see—a tall man with a large gut and a thick cropping of greying chest hair that extended to patches on his back. He only wished the cape weren’t so bloody short on him, giving a more comical impression than he was prepared for.

If she didn’t like it, he could say it was all a joke and get back to planning. She might laugh at him, think him silly. After decades of marriage, this didn’t seem such a bleak prospect. She’d laughed at his foolishness before and hadn't been wrong. 

After all they’d been through, if she didn’t like it, well, sod it. He just wouldn’t do it again and they could treat it as their own private joke. There was comfort in knowing she likely wouldn’t think the worse of him. Decades of marriage, this wasn't the daftest thing he'd ever done. Really, he had nothing to lose.

“Fred?” she called. “Is that you out there, lurking?”

She sounded suspicious. Well, he may as well get it over with…

He stepped forward, stopping just inside the doorways so she could get a good look at him, and planted his hands on his hips, jaunting one hip to the side. He stood, nothing but his underwear, the old Halloween vampire cape tied around his neck, and the sheer gall to think this might actually be a good idea. Her mouth fell open and he could tell she didn’t know what to think. He just had to remember his lines.

“Vell, my dear, Mina, I have you here at last.” He stopped. He couldn’t do a bloody accent, not with the plastic fangs. With stark speed and inelegance, he spat them out into his hand and threw them over his shoulder into the hallway. Clearing his throat, he tried again, “I ‘ave you here at last. Ve vill find something to do, to pass away the hours.”

It seemed to take a moment for the words to find meaning in Win's ears. Then, she was bright red and _giggling_. Suddenly she stopped, straightened and said, quite seriously, “Oh, count, you must be so _thirsty_.” The corners of her mouth split upward into a grin that still managed to make Fred's heart soar, no matter how many times he'd seen it, before throwing over the corner of the comforter. She tried to force the smile back as she spoke, “Necking’s the only thing to save you.”

Before she even patted the mattress, the invitation was in that grin that she couldn’t suppress. He grinned back and dove into bed, nearly landing on top of her as let out a new trill of exhilarated giggles. So, this wasn’t _so_ bad.

**Author's Note:**

> look, sometimes you just gotta dress up like a vampire to please your wife, you know how it is ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


End file.
